So here we are at Brigham Young University. My mind is still trying to unravel itself and figure out what in the world is going on. I feel kind of how I feel Optimus Prime must have felt when he first woke up and was on Earth. He was probably kind of like, "What in the world is going on here? What happened? How did I even get here? Why am I a truck?"
Things have been going pretty well. My classes are simple enough. I think I'm getting settled in pretty well. My roommates are pretty cool. One of them plays the guitar really well, the other wants to learn how to play and the other plays hockey. Aaaand he's not from Canada. I know, right? I didn't know that American kids play hockey! I thought they were all a bunch of Canadians that wanted to play for the red, white and BLUE! Anyways...
But as far as the girl situation is concerned, I haven't really been looking too hard. Nothing has really walked by and smacked me in the face. But at this point I'm kind of just going to be all loosy goosy about it (School of Rock references FTW) and see how it plays out. We had some girls from our Family Home Evening group over last night and we watched Secondhand Lions starring Haley Joel Osment. I'm pretty sure that was his last movie. Its probably because he can only make five different facial expressions and each one looks like he's seeing dead people. Later, Haley. Let's get your sister who is not a great actor and lets make her look WONDERFUL next to Miley Cyrus!!! Pooooor Haley.
Anyways, papers are due for class and I just wanted to get my first post out. Just cooked up a box of macaroni and cheese. I didn't know that stuff could expire! The cheese sauce looked like sawdust! But it tastes alright. I guess anything is good when you haven't eaten all day because you've been looking for a job.
Speaking of which, I was at the mall looking for a job today and this Mediterranean guy came up to me. I guess rushed me would be a better description. First thing he did was ask me for my age. I tell this guy I'm 21 and he said he would guess that I was 25 or 30. Wow. Thanks, douche. What are ya sellin? Turns out this guy is selling Dead Sea salt cosmetic products. So I figure I'll give the guy a chance and sell me on this crap.
He asks to see my arm so I give him my arm and he starts smearing this stuff all over it. Then he starts counting to five and rubbing my arm. All this dead skin starts coming off and he asks, "Did you take a shower today?" Of course I took a shower. I'm from America--not the Mediterranean. But then he's like, "Are you sure?" Now what I should have done was get up, punch him in the jeans and then leave. But he wipes all this nasty skin stuff off my arm and then puts on a lotion. Then he's like, "Look at your other arm". To be honest, they looked the same. Maybe the one on he had been rubbing his salt paste all over was a little whiter--but he's been rubbing it! Then he's like, "Feeeeeel it!" So I feel it. "You can feel the difference!" he says. Yeah, bro. One arm has lotion on it and we're in freakin' dry-as-heck Utah. Of course there is a difference.
Here's the good part: He decides that I'm gonna buy it. So he tells me that they are 80 bucks each. Then he's going to give me a "student discount" of $39.99 each. Yeeeeaaahhhh.... now the 80 bucks each thing is sounding kind of fishy. So then I tell the guy that I don't have the money to get this stuff. Then he goes, "Hey. I'm a married man so don't take this the wrong way," (wrong way to start a sentence by the way) "but you are a beautiful man. Do you have a girlfriend?" I tell him that finding one is on my to-do list. Then he goes, "You don't have a girlfriend because your face needs this stuff!"
Yeah. I'd be done too.
Alright kiddies. Til next time!
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